IT IS ALL ABOUT BABY STEPS!

Do you ever feel frustrated or disappointed with yourself or your ride?  Do you ever feel as though you are not progressing or overcoming an issue quickly enough?  Don’t worry!  We have all been there.  The important point to remember is “It is all about baby steps.”

It is easy to lose focus on the big picture and get tunnel vision, especially when the same problem keeps coming up.  This is when you need to take a step back and think about where you were a couple of weeks, months, or even years ago and how you handled the issue back then versus now.  Many of times we do not give ourselves enough credit with our progress because we unable to look at the situation objectively.  It is very easy for me as a trainer and objective third party to point this out to my students, but it is a hard concept to implement yourself.  This is still something I have to be conscious of and open my eyes to see the overall progression. 

“It is all about baby steps.”  The notion that “Rome was not built in a day” is an important point to remember.  What matters is that you take steps in a positive direction, no matter how small the steps may be.  There are times when you will have setbacks, but you must ALWAYS push forward.  You will be successful in your riding and in life if you implement this concept.  It does not matter how many steps it takes to accomplish your goal.  It only matters that you keep pushing and reaching forward until it is achieved. 

Overcoming Fear

While we as riders face many challenges; the biggest and most prominent hurtle seems to be overcoming emotional and mental obstacles. Whether it is fear, anxiety, focusing, or struggling with the ability to control your emotions, we all have to learn how to conquer these mental blocks. Because we trust our lives with twelve hundred pound animals and hope for the best, fear and anxiety are only natural, but they DO NOT have to defeat you. We as humans tend to naturally favor either a fight or flight mentality. While a seasoned, well rounded rider has an equal balance between the two, finding that balance usually is a skill that takes years to develop.

            The riders that tend to have more of a flight mentality have to learn to find a little fight in them. Some horses can be bullies and try to intimidate the fearful or insecure rider, while others will feed off of the negative energy which can create an even worse situation. In these moments we as riders have to get a handle on our emotions, slow our minds down, be present in the moment, and breathe so that we can push through the “negative” situation and turn it into a positive one.  We cannot let our everyday fears paralyze us, so we have to channel our inner strength to defeat our obstacles.

            With that being said, the riders who have more of a fight mentality tend to overcompensate for their fear, which can be counterproductive.  While this may be the lesser of two evils, you must be careful because you are still reactive.  The rider with a “fight” reaction often becomes too defensive and over reactive.  This can lead to adverse results because the rider’s judgement is clouded by the “fight” response and is living in the past, not in the present.  Many times the rider may over-correct the horse or be unfair to the horse because they themselves are too defensive and waiting for something bad to happen.  This again is why it is very important to control your emotions, slow your mind, be present in the moment, and breathe!

            However a rider naturally deals with fear, it is important that they find a positive balance to help them overcome their obstacles. Everyone experiences fear at some point, but it is how you deal with it and overcome it that is important.  This can be a long, hard, and frustrating process, but be patient with yourself.  The joys these animals bring are well worth it!        

The Underdog

            Today while going through the motions of my everyday horse chores, I stopped to give my twenty one year old retired FEI mare some TLC, and before I knew it I was flooded with memories from her younger years.  Regal Maskarade, who is better known as “Moose” was pulled out of a field at three years old to be my mother’s horse. Moose was fat as a tick with next to no awareness to where her body was at any given time, and heaven forbid you asked her to canter. She was a hot mess to say the least, and as time passed it became clear that she was just too big for my 5’2” mother. So at 17 years old, I was handed a big, opinionated, chestnut mare who had little desire to carry herself while schooling and had a special knack for evading the contact. Just coming off of a fiery thoroughbred, saying Moose was a challenge is an understatement. I spent many hours in the saddle teaching her (and myself) how to work with each other in a supportive, positive way. As she and I matured and grew together I quickly realized that the fat, gangly beast we had pulled from the field four years prior, had now developed into a well-muscled powerhouse with a killer trot. While her canter was pretty man made even up through the end of her FEI career, Moose had something a lot of her horsey-peers didn’t. Moose had heart. When Moose was in a “chestnut mare mood” I knew I would be in for challenging ride, but she always gave her heart when it counted, which in my opinion is irreplaceable in this sport.

            Over the years I have come across all kinds of horses with varying levels of talent and education, and while it is nice to get a six figure imported horse with all the training on it, there is something to say about the underdog; the backyard horse. The horses who weren’t necessarily meant to be dressage horses but, against the odds come out on top, or the breed that doesn’t fit into the dressage horse stereotype. Whatever the disadvantage the horse may have against it, if it has the heart to be a dressage horse, then a dressage horse it may be, and that’s what Moose showed me. While I have since had horses that were more gifted in knowing where their legs were, I cannot replace the lessons Moose taught me. She taught me that even as an FEI rider and trainer, I can’t discriminate against the package a horse may come in because through it all, every single horse has the ability to achieve something, and a lesson to teach us. Even now as a professional I learn something every day. Every horse I sit on and every student I teach gives me something to take away and put in my tool box.

            Moose was the first horse of many that helped me forge my path in this sport and probably one of the most influential. I was blessed in so many ways to have her as my first FEI mount. The lessons she taught me were irreplaceable and have kept me grounded as a trainer over the years. The challenges she presented in her own little package made me the strong, tactful rider I am today and I will probably never fully repay her for that. But as for now, Moose will remain fat and happy in retirement, taking me back from time to time, to where I came from. 

Get Back Up and Shake It Off

Recently one of my students from Virginia called me to talk about all the setbacks that came with 2014 and her concern for what 2015 would bring. Being one who is far too familiar with having the rug pulled out from underneath of me, I told her exactly what I’ve been telling myself for the last few months. While life with horses can take you to your lowest of lows, the high points are what make it all worth it. The only way to deal with the lows is to take it in stride just like everything else in life. During our conversation I told her about my recent setbacks and what that has not only taught me as a trainer and competitor, but also as a person. Last year, my FEI mare Diamonds R Forever, did a number on herself playing in the field. I believe my vet’s exact words were “It looked like she put her leg through a blender.”   Having just qualified for the 2014 Central American and Caribbean Games, as well as being one of the first and only individuals to be selected to compete in the 2014 FEI Nations cup, I could not have been more devastated.
            While I felt like everything had just been taken away from me in a matter of minutes, I realized I had one of two choices; I could either let this setback defeat me, or I could pick myself back up and fight. After working with my amazing vet to get Diamonds on the right road to recovery, I started working on how to bring myself back from this impediment. I allowed myself one self pity day, I then started talking to those closest to me and venting all of my emotions. My mother being one of my biggest supporters told me that things would get better in time and that I just had to have a little faith. After thinking it over I accepted that my mother was right, as she usually was, and that things like this happen for a reason.
            At the time I didn’t realize it, but my next up and coming young horse was what I now believe to be that very reason. I had just purchased Diamonds’ six year old son, Rhett Butler, about six months before things started going downhill and it was now his turn to get my undivided attention. Rhett and I had just completed his first recognized event at first level, scoring just under 70 percent, which qualified us for the GAIG Championships. Rhett is just as talented as his mother, with probably just as much of an opinion, but with a little more sensibility behind his reactions.  Appreciating his abilities, I started focusing on building my career with him which was enough to keep me from letting my most recent setbacks get me down.
            Now a year later with Diamonds rehabbing and Rhett going strong I realized how quickly things in this sport can change. Whether it be for the better or worse, the only thing we as riders can do is keep moving forward. The main idea I left my student with was that focusing on the positive while fighting through the battles is the only way to be successful in this sport and in life. If I have learned nothing else from this past year, it’s that you are the only person standing in the way of your success.